Thursday, September 25, 2008

"The Other Day"

Just an editorial note. When I use the term "the other day" it may in fact have been a day which occured a week ago, several weeks ago, a month ago, several months ago or even several years ago.

For example in the post entitled "We're all out of beans" our visit to Taco Bell was a week ago.

In that case the term "the other day" would still, in my opinion be within the standard and not cause a great commotion.

However when I to tell you "the other day" my friend Craig Tovey bought the complete Voltron action figure on Ebay, you'd be disapointed to know that it happened in October of 2007.

That's all.

"We're all out of beans"

No greater words have ever come from a speakerbox at a fast food resturant. If you've been a religious reader of my blog you'll remember Lymie Beans!!!!! where I began my disdain for all legumes.

That being said the other day I went to Taco Bell with Brooke. As we pulled up to the drive through (I rarely go to the drive through, I hate it. I'm already so impatient that I can't wait for a decently cooked meal? Now I have to eat it in my car? Why don't they just shoot it into my mouth as I speed by?) the person taking our order made the following statement:

"Welcome to Taco Bell, we're all out of beans how can I help you?"

To which I replied:

"No sweeter words have ever come out of a Taco Bell speaker, I hate beans"

The employee got confused and it took a little while to get our order. When we drove up I explained that I hated beans and that this was a wonderful day. He really didn't care all that much.

You see any order that I placed, with the caveat to omit beans could not be denied or ignored. I was free to order a Burrito Supreme and not even have to add the tagline "no beans on that please." The crunchy cheesy wrap no worries no beans. Yes it was a wonderful visit to our local Taco Bell.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ocho Sinko (da NFL)

I'm a little bit tired over all this election hype. I've watched both of the conventions, been inspired, enjoyed talks from both sides and now I'm ready for some football.

College football did not disappoint in its first week. With upsets all around, probably the greatest being UCLA's upset of Tennessee.

The NFL has started. My Giants beat the Redskins last night to open their season (that made the pain of a Yankees postseasonless year a little easier to handle)

Now get this Chad Johnson has legally changed his name. For those of you who don't know Chad, he's a wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals. A wide receiver is possibly the most overwhelmingly loud member of the team (with the exception of the field goal holder), Here are some of the more memorable moments in post touchdown celebrations:

Terrel Owens (the sharpie celebration)

Joe Horn (the cell phone celebration)

and Chad Johnson ("the river dance", "the proposal", "the golf putt", "the CPR")

(He's actually putting the effing football with the touchdown pylon!)

These wide receivers have been provided colorful touchdown moments. However this post is about Chad.

What did Chad change his name to you ask? Of course he made a wise decision and changed it because "Johnson" was too plain. Perhaps it was all those wrong phone calls due to a common surname. Chad would have to change his name to differentiate himself from the little man.

With careful consideration Chad will now be referred to as Chad "Ocho Cinco".

Yep Chad "Ocho Cinco".

Now in defense it is his jersey number (which makes it a completely rational decision)

A grown man has changed his name to reflect his nickname. The thing that bothers me the most is he gave himself the nickname.

Its one thing if you get a nickname. I have several friends who have nicknames For example:

Mikey Barragan- "Scurvy" and "Smalls"
Ryan Murray- "Lumpy"
Josh Gale- "Routine Ria", "Mischa" and "Ralphie"
Matt Badja- "Grimace"
Matt Duffy- "Kibby"
Kevin Peterson- "The Wolf"

and of course

Jeff Bryner- "Poopsie"

Following Chad these friends should all change their names.

But to give yourself a nickname, well that's as weak legally changing your surname to reflect it. Way to go "Ocho Cinco" you've given credibility once again to million dollar professional athletes.

I can't wait to see what Manny Ramirez does to top it.