Dental Damned

This is a post from my other private post. I liked it and decided to repost it on "Noted", enjoy.

Went to the dentist today. Haven't been for a while. Last year a dentist told me that I had neglected my gums and that I needed to pay more attention to flossing. He also said I had four cavities. After feeling like a moral deviant I did what any sane person would do. I stopped going to that dentist, waited a year and when my tooth started hurting made the decision to find a new dentist. To be more specific; my tooth cracked, I continued to neglect it, chewed food on the right side of my mouth, learned a new way to drink to avoid cold sensitivity, and finally relented when I began to get a bitter taste from the tooth (it's an abscessed tooth, Pharaohs have died from it). So since I won't be buried in a pyramid I called a church friend that doubles as a dentist.

My appointment was scheduled for 3:30pm. At 2:30 my anxiety hit. I hate going to explain to someone why I avoided taking better care of my teeth. I'm sure he's heard every story, he's seen a lot worse (this is Havasu, and we love our toothless river folk). For me telling someone how bad it's gotten and letting them look into my mouth is about as embarrassing as it gets. I'd rather have to tell my Bishop that I looked a boobie magazine 682 times.

Dr. Jesse Harker put me right at ease. First off there is a flat screen on the ceiling, it's better than a mirror in a hotel room. I got to watch the Yankees game while he poked and prodded. Second he has state of the art equipment. He took digital images of everything, no more archaic x-ray negatives or tiny toilets to spit into. Finally he gave me an itemized look at the expenses to complete all of the work. I love that because the last guy did all the work and then stuck me with a bill for $2,000.

So in summary:

My mouth sucks right now.
It's not as bad as I thought
Dr. Harker, great dentist
Watching a ballgame while they take that tiny pirate hook and poke in your tooth hole, not so bad.
Oh and I need a root canal...awesome

a stitch in the blanket

The Man Who Had HIV and Now Does Not

In 1995 I was eating chicken flavored Top Ramen in my dorm room at UCSC. My brother John called me from Half Moon Bay and I was surprised to hear his voice. Not very far into the conversation John told me Steve Harvey had died. Steve was a friend of the family. He was one of the Harvey boys that my father worked with in the car business. As kids we grew up around Steve, his younger brother Richard (who died in a car accident), and his older brothers Bill and Mike. Bill and Steve were closer to my dad than Mike and Richard and would often come over for dinner. Steve was a giant. Or at least that's what I remembered about him. He had red curly hair and an awesome mustache which rivaled the greats of the 80's. Steve would always play any sport with us. Often he'd take us to Smith Field and we'd play baseball for hours.

Some years prior to his death my parents sat us down on the couch and told us Steve had AIDS. I was the oldest and I really didn't know what to think. I remember it was some later that Steve would visit us. I remember thinking to myself when he was coming over "Should I touch him?" There still wasn't a lot of information about the disease.

I hugged him. When he came over and I saw him, I hugged him. He was smaller. You could tell he was sick. It was the last time I would see him. He spent his remaining years away from us. He may have gone to Chicago. Unfortunately my parents didn't tell us much.

Above is an article I found interesting. I learned something today. It's not a cure, it certainly isn't the answer. I just thought it was interesting. I miss Steve.

jux because

My wife began her contractions on April 7th, that afternoon Denny Tovey died. At around nine that evening I was lying in bed with Brooke and said to her that it was time for me to focus on our new son. The following day at 3:54pm George Christopher was born. These two events; the death of a friend, the father of my best friend and the birth of my son will always be a great reminder of mortality. I wondered Thursday evening as I settled in bed whether Denny and George passed each other in some eternal hallway. I'd like to think their conversation wasn't long, just a "hello" and a mutual "good luck". I'd like to think that both were a little too preoccupied with what was about to happen. Denny had an orientation mixer to get to and George eagerly wanted to try his new body. More than anything I like to think as they were passing Denny gave George a wink as if he knew what George was in for, that Denny had a lifetime of experiences, of knowledge, of love. I like to think that Denny knew about all the moments George would come upon, learning to ride a bike, drive a car, put up with complete morons. That he knew that George would feel love and feel hurt, that he would have lots of doubts and fears. I like to think that as Denny was passing giving that confident wink George without missing a beat would look right back into Denny's eyes and give him a mischievous wink back.

Craig Tovey and Everything Else

Craig Tovey is my best friend. Has been since the summer of 1992. I broke my arm that summer and he came over everyday to play Street Fighter II. He taught me about the Church. More specifically he asked me where I thought I would go when I die.

Not a single person up until that point had every asked me that question. Not my mother, not my father, not a teacher or scout leader. No one had asked me what happens after this life. My answer was something along the lines of "I think I will live a good life and I'll be in Heaven with God." After my reply he just agreed with me.

To this day I have been astonished at the manner in which he treated that situation. We were two teenagers discussing a weighty topic and he had the insight to recognize my level of understanding with regards to eternity. Since that time, I've joined the LDS faith. I've spent countless hours learning about my religion and formulating my own understanding of what happens to me when I die. Still that first encounter with Craig resonates with me. It is still one of the pillars of my spiritual being.

Tonight Craig and talked about his father. It's a coincidence but one worth noting that I haven't posted a blog since I wrote about Denny Tovey. Craig and his family are now living with the reality that medical efforts have not aided in the fight against cancer. I've written and deleted text after text trying to find the words to express my empathy for Craig. He's my best friend. He loves his dad. I cannot imagine his life right now. I don't know why I'm even writing this right now. It's not cathartic, it doesn't help my friend.

I mentioned to Craig that my sister's mother-in-law died this last month. To be more specific my friend Joel's mother died this past month. I love Joel and Cathy so much. I love their son, my nephew Gabriel. I struggle to do what I can to comfort them. I've spoken to Joel more than Cathy. I struggle with what to say. The last thing I said to Joel was that I believe that his mom is in Heaven. I believe that.

A few hours after talking to Craig I was lying on the couch with Olive. I stroked her face and cuddled with her. I love my family so much. I love my girls, I love my wife so very much.

There are moments in my life that I will carry with me forever. There are people that I will always cherish. Craig happens to be a part of both of those facts. I don't know how to conclude this post.