You Ask Me How I am

I need sleep tonight, I've had a hard time. Without making public comments to the world and being mindful of the thoughts of those who I love, specifically my friends and family, I will keep the recent events in my life ambiguous as to not offend or draw improper thoughts or perceptions. Needless to say this has been the most difficult time in my life. I have gone through a gambit of emotions, I have shared some with those of you and withheld some for my own comfort and the respect of those involved. I want to take this opportunity to elaborate on my feelings.

First, I have a great sense of relief about my new beginning. I have come to this decision with the help of my Heavenly Father. I have struggled for years with feeling of dejection and inadequacy. I know that as I made public my intent, these feelings have began to flee. I am a more confident and hopeful man.

Second, as my comfort has been confirmed by my Heavenly Father, I also have received some certain and immediate blessings. These blessing have resulted in a renewed desire for life, a rededication to the Lord as well as a resolve to find happiness in eternal covenants again. Those close to me have seen the immediate happiness that this has created. Some may question the timing of such emotions and decision, even go so far as question the calculated timeline in which it has occurred. In keeping with my initial desire not to specify this life moment I will trust in my friends that they know I can converse with God, He does speak to me, and the actions that I am taking are not in haste but in accordance with my mind, spirit and heart and are supported by revelation.

Third, I am concerned for the welfare of my friends and family as these events are transpiring. As I have found relief and hope renewed, I have turned my focus to the well being of others. I am okay, more than that I am happy. My concern is more for you. I worry that you may create perceptions that frustrate you, that worry you and may leave you in a state of judgement that you do not need to pursue. Trust in my ability to rely on my Heavenly Father and know that the fruits of my actions will be justified in time. Not only justified but provide me and you and our family a better life. I know what I am doing, God knows it, believe me we have spoken on this matter and he has allowed me to pursue my new life.

Finally, I love you. I love you for the support, the perspective, the warnings, the pleadings, for all of your effort. Your care and thought toward me shows me that you truly love me. Thank you.