It Took Seven Months But I Finally Got to Witness The Power of Direct Marketing (And Why You Can Too!!)

So I don't get it. Really I don't get it. There's all this juice being sold here in Utah. There all from some weird plant and they all make you feel so much better and cure your dog's cancer. They also all taste like crap.

Why?

Why do Utahans subject themselves to Amway Fruit Juice sales pitches?

I don't know either. All I know is that last Wednesday I was taken to a lunch by my future brother-in-law, lets just call him Rusty Jackson and I was told how amazing this opportunity is. So here I was eating a "free" lunch while I learn about the power of "Seven Plus".

You see the thing about "Seven Plus" is that they take all six of the crappy fruits and get their crappy tasting extract out to form an "exfuzion" of epically crappy proportions. (The seven is important because they are always looking for a new and more powerfully crappy fruit to add to it)

I've been told that it can heal the lame, make the blind see and if poured into the gullet of the Dread Pirate Roberts, can bring him back "to blathe".

I'm in this restaurant hating life and hoping it will end. I am in awe of how assumptive the Host's sales pitch is.

The first thing I'm thinking is "I have no idea how multi-level marketing works." I've never been a part of it and try to run away from these sales pitches.

As I'm trying to figure out how it works our host is talking about a company called "NuSkin" which I've seen advertising for but I've never stopped to learn about. I guess they're big and have notable "Top Sellers". He mentioned names of people who I assumed worked for NuSkin at some point and had made the move to Exfuze. So Exfuze has to be good. Right?

I wish you were there (You could have had chicken parmesan with a side of mashed potatoes, really potatoes?)
because I don't think I'd be able to give the presentation justice.

He played a DVD of what this juice can do (his pitch also was that he's just a normal guy and all he has to do is play a DVD). They had testimonials of people who were using it and loving it. Lawrence Taylor, that's right former cocaine addict and New York Giants great, Lawrence Taylor tried to sell me the health offerings of Seven Plus.

After the DVD there was some more song and dance about how the product is moving out to California and beyond.

I have a great opportunity to be a part of something huge. I have to get in now.

After the meeting I had a phantom phone call which I had to take and hoped that my ride would be finished soon.

Rusty Jackson and I rode with a current Exfuze rep. The rep was busy taking advantage of a couple of Spanish gentleman that were reallly excited. "The Hispanic Market is just waiting to be reached!" exclaimed the rep.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do to sell this stuff. I have no clue what the buy-in is. All I know is that you get bottles of this filth every month and you pay for it.

If you can trick enough people to also buy a product they don't need or want, it starts to pay for itself.

Then there's like "down-line" and "up-line" and residule checks and who knows what else.

I don't speak "Alientate my friends and family and pressure them every time we have a get together juicey juice talk".

I'm gonna be fine not making that great passive income.